How to Speak Barista

“I’ll have a skinny harmless, extra-hot latte with room on a leash, please.”

If you’re not wrinkling your brow in confusion, you’re either a coffee connoisseur or maybe worked at a Starbucks the summer between high school and college. If you understood some of it, you probably have a favorite coffee shop where mustachioed hipsters wear scarves and t-shirts at the same time. Plus, you’ve studied their menu more than once. So what does it take to up your game and order like a java savant? First, let’s start with the basics.

There are two main categories of coffee: Arabica and Robusta. Arabica beans are used to make espresso and have (surprise!) less caffeine than Robusta beans. Robusta beans are used to make black coffee.

Coffee beans grow on trees inside a bright red berry called a cherry. The cherries are picked, dried and stripped until all that’s left is a naked little green coffee bean.

Then, like the culmination of a Friar’s Club meeting, the roasting begins and won’t stop until the guest of honor cracks. The beans turn from green to various shades of brown, depending on the roasting level. As you might have guessed, the less the beans are roasted, the lighter they are in color and the lighter-bodied they are in flavor.

Now, what are those Italian-y and French-ish words fancily drawn on the coffee shop’s menu board trying to tell you? If you’re shy enough – or the line behind you is long enough – not to ask, you’ll be flying blindly through a sea of caffeine. Fear not: this list will make you feel like an expert.

Espresso contains no milk, just strong black coffee served in a small cup called a demitasse. A doppio is a double shot. If you want something even stronger, go for a ristretto, which is a very concentrated espresso shot. Want decaf? Order a “harmless.”

Café Americano is an espresso shot diluted with hot water.

Caffé Mocha, or Mocha, is a sweet coffee drink with espresso, chocolate syrup and milk, the ratio of which can vary. You can get it with or without whipped cream, or add some cinnamon or nutmeg for some extra layers of flavor. Not a drink for the calorie- or sleep-conscious.

Caffé Macchiato is a shot of espresso with a little foamed milk. A caramel macchiato adds caramel and sometimes vanilla to make this a popular, dessert-type drink. Mmmm.

Caffè con panna, or espresso con panna, is a shot of espresso in a demitasse topped with a dollop of whipped cream. Fancy.

A frappe is cold espresso made with 1–2 teaspoons of instant coffee with sugar, water and ice.

A latte is espresso with more milk than a cappuccino – usually a one to three or five ratio. If you want a decaf latte with nonfat milk, order a skinny (nonfat) harmless. Because “skinny harmless” is so much easier to say.

Cappuccino is usually equal parts espresso, steamed milk and foam. You can ask for it dark with less milk, scuro, or light with more milk, chiaro. Order a Café Breva for a cappuccino made with half and half vs. whole milk. If you want only foam and no milk, order it dry. Confused? Just order a cappuccino.

Mochaccino is a cappuccino made with steamed chocolate milk.

Café au Lait is a French term (which sounds Spanish – ¡olé!) for a drink made by simultaneously pouring coffee (not espresso) and boiled milk into the cup.

Viennese coffee is a super-strong coffee that is sweetened to taste and made even sweeter by its topping of whipped cream.

To really impress your barista:

• If you want to take your coffee with you, don’t order it to go, order it “with legs.”
• Need a cup with handles? Ask for it “with wings.” With handles to go? That’s “on a leash.”
• Ask for it “extra hot” for a temperature akin to the surface of the sun (ideal if it’s “with legs” and you won’t get to it right away).
• Get it “with room” for a little extra space in the top of the cup if you want to add your own whipped cream and toppings.